Diary of a White Indian Housewife

Just saw this bloglink at GoriGirl…  Looks interesting and is now on my blogroll.

Multiracial people become fastest growing group in US

AP article courtesy my friend Josh….  This fascinates me.  I wonder what it means for my kids?  the future of US race relations?  the world?

Book Review: Finding the Flow: A guide for leading small groups and gatherings

So this book really doesn’t have much to do with cross-cultural relationships, but I’ve found it quite helpful on general relationships, particularly those often times awkward ones forged in small groups.  I’m not a huge fan of them, although I do love the general concept of intentionally getting to know people through regular conversation about meaningful topics.  The problem I’ve found is that this rarely happens, at least in the small groups in which I’ve participated.

Finding the Flow addresses this reality and offers some very practical guidance on how to forge meaningful relationships through small groups.  I especially appreciate how the authors encourage a strong knowledge of one’s self in relation to the group, as well as understanding of group dynamics and conflict.  Each chapter has discussion questions and “Do This” exercises sprinkled throughout which are thoughtful, not cheesey.  There are also tons of resources at the end of the book to utilize in small group situations.

While I detest Christian how-to books, I do appreciate clear, concise analysis on concrete yet realistic ways to tackle tough issues.  This book certainly does that with wisdom, clarity, and honesty.  Check out the book’s website for more information and resources.

The New Boy

The New Boy is a short film from the Responsibility Project on an African boy’s first day of school in an Irish classroom. It’s an interesting look at an immigrant’s child first day of school in a new country.  The Responsibility Project has quite a few topical short films.

The only thing harder than Joseph’s first day of school in Ireland was his last day of school in Africa.
Please note, due to licensing agreements, New Boy is viewable in the U.S., and Canada only.

Cultural Isolation

Sorry for the loooooooooooong absence.  First was Christmas travels, then our January term at the university that I spent somewhere between intense project mode and complete vegging out due to Christmas exhaustion and winter depression.  We’re currently in the throes of the onset of second semester, so now I’m somewhere between completely overwhelmed by my newly realized workload and waking back up from the January slump.

A significant piece of this slump was  influenced by the cultural isolation we experience living in a non-diverse environment.  While there are many upsides to where we live (no commute, low cost of living, tight community, job satisfaction, balanced work-home commitments, etc.), one of the downsides that arises intensely at times is cultural isolation.  I was explaining a bit of this struggle to an Asian colleague who’s moving to our town, and he commented, “But you’re ok, right?” suggesting that because I’m white & American, I don’t experience the same struggles that the rest of my family does.  In a sense, I completely understand where he’s coming from, and he’s right.  I don’t experience what they do.  In another sense, though, it still affects me significantly because it affects the people I love most.  My husband hit a significant low – basically just feeling lonely for people who see him as “normal” (and frustrated by people who eye him wearily) – over January and all I can do is listen, give him a hug, and try not to diminish his feelings of isolation. My daughter’s continues to ask about race, the latest being, “Mama, why is everyone white except me?”

While it may be easy for the casual observer to simply respond:  “Yikes.  Get outta there,” it’s not quite so simple for us.  Yes, we do feel like this at times.  But then there is also this issue of calling – a deep sense that we are to stay where we are for now, regardless of the challenge it holds for us.  What I’m still trying to sort through is how to live ‘contentedly discontent’. Every so often I wonder what God’s purpose is for us around here, breathe in a deep breath of courage, and then let out a shallow, slow breath of exhaustion.  It. is. so. stinkin’. lonely. doing. this.  *sigh*

Anyone out there have experience/wisdom in this area?  I’m sure missionaries experience this kind of isolation.  How do you possibly survive when there’s no way you’ll ever fit in where you live?  How do you survive the (at times) crushing tension of being a square peg in a round hole?  One small request – I *know* that God carries us all through such valleys, but God does not come to my house to relish a curry dinner, or share a meaningful hug over the struggle of war in a home country or missing family afar.  God IS here, but he’s also NOT here like people can be who share similar experiences. Hence, the cultural (not spiritual) isolation.  Because of this, I bristle when people’s response is, “Trust God” or “You have a purpose here.”  Both true, but not really addressing the root of the issue.

I do apoligize in advance for my grumpiness.  But, it is what it is, and I’m guessing someone, somewhere has had similar feelings.  Quite obviously, I don’t have perspective on this and I need some, but, hey, the only way is through, right?

The Mastercard Commercial I’d like to See

I found this interesting…

• Amount spent each year in Europe and the United States on pet food:  $17 billion
• Cost per year to achieve basic health and nutrition for the entire world:  $13 billion
• Amount spent on perfumes each year:  $12 billion
• Clean water for all the world:  $9 billion
• Amount spent on cosmetics in the US:  $8 billion
• Basic education for the world’s children:  $6 billion
• Total amount the US spends on Christmas each year:  $450 billion   (or 16 years worth of food, water, and education for the world)
• Initial cost of the US Government bailout of failing financial institutions:  $700 billion   (or 25 years worth of food, water, and education for the world)

Coming to grips with the alarming disconnects of our consumerist society:  Priceless

(originally posted by Jim Moss on The Seminal)

The harder part of Christmas

While the season is wonderful in some ways, for those who are literally half way around the world from family and close friends, it also brings its own challenges.  Sinhu posted a thoughtful reflection on her blog “the rest is still unwritten”.

A different daughter in law

Sometimes I grow weary of hearing folks complain about Mother-in-laws.  I know they aren’t often a bed of roses, but it’s good to hear about good ones once in awhile, especially the cross-cultural ones.  Amanda has a great post on her blog about dealing with meeting her future MIL.

BOOK: Teach like your hair’s on fire

I’m currently reading “Teach like your hair’s on fire: the methods and madness inside room 56” by Rafe Esquith.  Rafe teaches in inner city LA and has students who have made significant gains.  He has the students read literary classics and perform Shakespeare.  Rafe has received many awards and recognitions for his work.  Here’s an NPR story about his work.

Speaking of Faith and African Aid

Krista Tippett just hosted a great show on her “Speaking of Faith” Podcast with Binyavanga Wainaina on the ethics of aid in Africa.  It’s very thought provoking and worth a listen!  Speaking of a Faith is a weekly National Public Radio show and has some excellent topics on global faiths.  Check out the rest of the podcast while you’re there.

Transracially adopted children’s bill of rights

This was originally posted on the Rowan Family Tree blog.  I thought it looked like an excellent resource.  Their blog is chronic their Ethiopian adoption journey, and has a lot of great links.  Worth a look!

Transracially Adopted Children’s Bill of Rights

• Every child is entitled to love and full membership in his or her family.
• Every child is entitled to have his or her heritage and culture embraced and valued.
• Every child is entitled to parents who value individuality and enjoy complexity.
• Every child is entitled to parents who understand that this is a race conscious society.
• Every child is entitled to parents who know their child will experience life in ways differently from theirs.
• Every child is entitled to parents who are not seeking to “save” a child or to make the world a better place by adopting.
• Every child is entitled to parents who know belonging to a family is not based on physical matching.
• Every child is entitled to parents who have significant relationships with people of other races.
• Every child is entitled to parents who know transracial adoption changes the family structure forever.
• Every child is entitled to be accepted by his or her extended family members.
• Every child is entitled to parents who know that if they are white they experience the benefits of racism because the country’s system is organized that way.
• Every child is entitled to parents who know they cannot be the sole transmitter of the child’s culture when it is not their own.
• Every child is entitled to grow up with items in their home environment created for and by people of their own race or ethnicity.
• Every child is entitled to have places available to make friends with people of his or her race or ethnicity.
• Every child is entitled to have opportunities in his or her environment to participate in positive experiences with his or her birth culture.
• Every child is entitled to opportunities to build racial pride within his or her own home, school, and neighborhood.

Raising kids in two cultures

Sandra Whitehead has an excellent article on parenthood.com about raising bi-cultural kids.  It’s the first in a series called Bicultural Families: Meeting the needs of raising children with two cultures.

Part 1: Meeting the Challenges of Raising Children With Two Cultures

Part 2: Helping Kids Embrace Both Cultures

Part 3: Stages of Cultural Identity

Part 4: How Bicultural Families Make It Work

Part 5: Resources for Bicultural Families

Attention: Traveling Parents!

The moderator of Pakaboo Travels kindly commented to bring attention to a new site. Thought I’d give it a bit more attention for those who may be interested…

Thanks for including my article on jetlag on your site. I have launched a website called Trekaroo – Kids. Trips. Tips. (www.trekaroo.com) We’re creating a community of parents who love to travel with their kids and share a passion for exploring the world with them. Come check it out and let us know what you think.

We are looking for active parents who with opinions to become part of our founding members.

Clowns vs. the KKK

Now this is some great creativity in response to racism!

(originally posted here.)

Unfortunately for [VNN] the 100th ARA (Anti Racist Action) clown block came and handed them their asses by making them appear like the asses they were.

Alex Linder the founder of VNN and the lead organizer of the rally kicked off events by rushing the clowns in a fit of rage, and was promptly arrested by 4 Knoxville police officers who dropped him to the ground when he resisted and dragged him off past the red shiny shoes of the clowns. http://www.volunteertv.com/home/headlines/7704982.html

“White Power!” the Nazi’s shouted, “White Flour?” the clowns yelled back running in circles throwing flour in the air and raising separate letters which spelt “White Flour”.

“White Power!” the Nazi’s angrily shouted once more, “White flowers?” the clowns cheers and threw white flowers in the air and danced about merrily.

“White Power!” the Nazi’s tried once again in a doomed and somewhat funny attempt to clarify their message, “ohhhhhh!” the clowns yelled “Tight Shower!” and held a solar shower in the air and all tried to crowd under to get clean as per the Klan’s directions.

At this point several of the Nazi’s and Klan members began clutching their hearts as if they were about to have a heart attack. Their beady eyes bulged, and the veins in their tiny narrow foreheads beat in rage. One last time they screamed “White Power!”

The clown women thought they finally understood what the Klan was trying to say. “Ohhhhh…” the women clowns said. “Now we understand…”, “WIFE POWER!” they lifted the letters up in the air, grabbed the nearest male clowns and lifted them in their arms and ran about merrily chanting “WIFE POWER! WIFE POWER! WIFE POWER!”

Well-stated.